Tomorrow I'm going to talk to the US Navy recruiter.

I wonder what I'm getting myself into.
But, I'm single, not dating seriously, I need money for college, I want to do something other than my two mediocre minimum wage jobs, I want to be part of something bigger than myself, I want to work towards meaningful goals, I want a healthy lifestyle change that pushes me to be more fit and healthy.



I'm going to go into either Intelligence or Military Police.
=)



I mean, I still have to talk to him.....
And decide that this is better than getting my degree first.
We'll see. Who knows.




Ahhh.

I'm depressed.

I'm not entirely happy with myself lately, but I'm letting outside influences determine my own happiness.





I have a lot of thinking to do,
but sadly enough, I don't think things are going to work the way I'd like, or he'd like.




Spend all night with Marcus' mom, and we went grocery shopping, and bookstore diving, and this morning we made carne asada fajitas. We watched "I CAN DO BAD ALL BY MYSELF" twice. It was amazing.



I needed a girls night. Even if it was with his mom.

was like the worst night ever.

This is a personal blog, directed towards my boyfriend/fiance/future hubby, so others need not read/reply.



Marcus,
   Last night I was harsher than I needed to be, and you probably felt attacked. I am sorry. When I said it was not that big of a deal I meant it, and you didn't take it as such. All I was TRYING to ask was that you open up to me and tell me details of your day, etc and tell me about your childhood..... stuff you've never told me before.

I don't know how I got it blown so far out of proportion, and I don't know how we went to bed like that. I know that I vow to never go to bed with either one of us upset as long as we're together, meaning forever.

I barely slept at all, I tossed and turned all night. I've called and left you two voicemails, I left a few texts, and I'll make every effort to talk to you TONIGHT, before dinner, about this. I can't have you sad and feeling confused.



Please don't leave me.



Jennifer