It's Christmas Eve and I can't sleep. It's almost midnight California time, which means it's almost Christmas. It's not that I can't sleep in a little kid sense where I'm too excited for Santa to come. I'm laying here thinking of all the wonderful people I have in my life. I have parents who love me so much. My nephews haven't seen me in over a year. We spent all night playing tackle and trains and with balls. They gave me knuckles before I left, and they both hugged me so huge, and gave me kisses. Eddie actually turned because he wanted me to kiss him!! on the cheek!! I'm also so grateful for my boyfriend. Sometimes I'm difficult, and sometimes I'm drama. I realize this. Sometimes I'm needy and I want him to quit what he is doing and just hold me. I appreciate how he brings me coffee before class sometimes, and if he keeps me out late, he always has a mountain dew for me in the morning. He does so much for me, and I always try to do as much as I can for him. I'll always remember surprising him at work with cocoa or tea. I just am so thankful and grateful, and I hope I can have all these people in my life for years to come. I also am so thankful for the time I get to spend with Tamara. She is getting sicker and sicker every year, and I'm so blessed to know someone that in the face of cystic fibrosis and diabetes, can look life in the eye optimistically. She is the happiest, sweetest, bravest person I know. I cannot wait to get my tattoo for her. She deserves everything and all the love in the world. Nick is such a lucky man, and I am so lucky to have her friendship. Merry Christmas Xanga, and thanks for listening.

I'm in California visiting all my family. I've spent the last two days with my Grandma, and today my Daddy picked me up. I missed him so much. But what I'm sitting here so distraught over is the fact that I miss my boyfriend so much I could cry, or worse, I could puke. It hurts. I love him. he means so much to me. It snowed two feet there. I wish I could make a snow fort.

So, Breaking Benjamin is coming to Washington, D.C. in April. With Nickelback, Shinedown, and Sick Puppies. Well, Chris said that he's going to buy tickets for my birthday, and Colton's birthday. I also said that if Natalie was still his girlfriend then, that he could bring her, too, since she LOVES them also! I'm so stoked. It's on a school night for him, so I asked Mom if he could go, and she said as long as he keeps up his grades. Stoked. I love my boyfriend. He's the best. I'm so freaking spoiled.